Always Be Running With Scissors: Archive

3 tags

Update joke

buttpilgrim: Jake may get a lot of attention but Roxy gets all the pussy

Feb 25th

293 notes

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Civilization-Danny Kaye and the Andrews Sisters

Feb 24th

3 notes

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Jake English is Theodore Roosevelt

First off Grandpa Harley wears pretty much the same outfit as TR’s iconic safari getup: Theodore Roosevelt was a notorious hunter and learned taxidermy at age 6 and after a hunting trip to Africa he started the Smithsonian Museum to showcase all of the exotic animals he had stuffed. Theodore Roosevelt as a child: Roosevelt was a sickly asthmatic boy, who ended up learning boxing and...

Feb 24th

60 notes

1 tag

Feb 24th

65 notes

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Feb 24th

7 notes

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Feb 24th

35 notes

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“First, I want to walk into a bar and drink it. And then I’m going to start...”

– Mitchell Royce, Transmetropolitan

Feb 24th

1 note

Feb 24th

395 notes

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Apparently my roommate ships DirkxAutoResponder

He claims that the only person good enough for Dirk is Dirk

Feb 24th

11 notes

4 tags

Ella Fitzgerald-Manhattan

Feb 23rd

3 notes

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I love my job so much

My boss just let us go an hour early but had us fill out an extra hour on our timesheets

Feb 23rd

13 tags

Holy shit, bridges.

adogwithglasses: Bridges are so awesome. Do you know how great bridges are? Oh man, they are so fucking awesome. If you don’t think bridges are awesome I don’t think you’ve ever really taken the time to just sit back and really think about what bridges are. Holy shit. I don’t even know how bridges get made. I’ve never seen a bridge being built, they’re always just already there by the...

Feb 23rd

13 notes

1 tag

Feb 23rd

1,515 notes

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FUCK LATIN!!!

Seriously, this language is so shitty I can’t even keep up with how infuriatingly awful it is

Feb 23rd

1 note

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“Lower-East Bumfuck. Hm. Sounds like where Jake is going to be living in a few...”

– Tumblr user coffeeblood (via textbook-poopstar)

Feb 23rd

6 notes

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“Rick Santorum is a staunch opponent of abortion, even in the case of rape. Even...”

– John Oliver (via 24ribs)

Feb 23rd

11,620 notes

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Feb 23rd

1 note

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blegh, I just want it to be the weekend

so that I can hang out with my awesome friends and not take lots of tests and quizzes

Feb 23rd

10 tags

Feb 22nd

163 notes

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NEW METRIC ALBUM COMING OUT IN JUNE

I’m so excited!!!

Feb 22nd

5 tags

Feb 22nd

1 note

Feb 22nd

18,451 notes

3 tags

Feb 22nd

16,178 notes

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On the Street Where You Live- Vic Damone...

Feb 22nd

12 notes

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TMI TUESDAY. DO YOUR WORST. I'LL ANSWER ANYTHING... →

Feb 22nd

370 notes

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Politics Made Simple: Regarding the future of LGBT... →

nerdypundit: [Note: I assume that my audience with this post is primarily composed of young people in their late teens and 20s] Homophobia is the last societally and institutionally permissible form of bigotry remaining. Because this is still a large issue for our generation it seems that it will need to… I figure that given the views of the vast majority (if not all) of my followers,...

Feb 22nd

1 note

2 tags

Feb 21st

1,291 notes

1 tag

Feb 21st

32 notes

1 tag

Feb 21st

831 notes

Feb 21st

48 notes

2 tags

Feb 21st

4 notes

8 tags

Feb 21st

102 notes

Feb 21st

309 notes

Feb 21st

35 notes

1 tag

Leave a Tumblr user in my ask and I will tell you...

masterprankster: fabulous-sharpies: drunkenfist: aticklefuck: dondondadadon: Don’t ask for what you can’t handle. i wanna do this again i love gushing about ppl I’ll tell about the people I know or have talked to tho, sorry in advance Please do this :O reblogging for the anon again

Feb 21st

9,516 notes

3 tags